Jesus Is My Life...

Hi Friends!!! Here are some of the Jokes that makes you smile all over the Day..I hope you all will have a lots of fun!!!

                                          “ADJOURMENT”

QUES: “ What do you call it when the pastorate committee members agree with the pastors plan?

ANS: “ It is time for supper”

                                     

                                             SIR, CUSTOMER  IS  ALWAYS RIGHT

The General Manager of a department store was reprimanding one of his staff. “Please do not argue with a customer again “he said.” In the store the customer is always right.”

                 “yes, sir” said the sales assistant, the customer said you were a fool!!!

Q. What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?

A. Thanks, I'll never part with it!

Q. Why did they let the turkey join the band?  

A. Because he had the drum sticks.

Q. What do you when if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?  

A. A pineapple.

Q. What did the big candle say to the little candle?  

A. I'm going out tonight.

Q. Why wasn't the turkey hungry at Christmas time?

A. He was stuffed!

Q. Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? 

A. Because it soots him.

Q. What kind of ball doesn't bounce?

A. A snowball!

Q. What's the best thing to put into Christmas pie?  

A. Your teeth!

Q. What do you get when you eat the Christmas decorations?  

A. Tinsel-itus.

Q. Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?  

A. Because every buck is dear to him.

Q. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?  

A. Missletoe!

Q. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

A. Claustrophobic.

Q. What does Santa like to eat?  

A. A jolly roll.

Q. How does Santa take pictures?  

A. With his North Pole-aroid.

Q. What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A. Ice caps.

Q. How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
A. Fleece Navidad!

Q. What is a snowman's favorite lunch?
A. An Iceberger!

Q. What do vampires put on their Christmas turkey?
A. Grave-y.

Q. What did the ghost say to Santa Claus?
A. I'll have a boo Christmas without you.

Q. What do you call a snowman party?
A. A Snowball!

Q. What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A. A cookie sheet!

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?
A. Frost bite!

Q. What do you call an Eskimo cow?
A. An Eskimoo.

Q. How is the Christmas alphabet different from the ordinary alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Q. What do the elves sing to Santa Claus on his birthday?
A. Freeze a jolly good fellow . . .

Q. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
A. Sandy Claws!

Q. Why are Christmas trees such bad knitters?
A. They are always dropping their needles.

Where does Santa stay when he's on holidays?
At a Ho-ho-tel!

What do you do if Santa Claus gets stuck in your chimney?

Pour Santa Flush on him!

 What do you call a kitty on the beach on Christmas morning?

Sandy Claws!

What does Mrs. Claus sing to Santy on his birthday?
"Freeze a jolly good fellow!"

 

What does Santa put on his toast?
"Jingle Jam"

 

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

 

An honest politician, a kind lawyer and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a $20 bill.  Which one picked it up??
Santa!  The other two don't exist!

 

What do you do if Santa Claus gets stuck in your chimney?
Pour Santa flush on him!

 

What does Santa say to the toys on Christmas Eve?
Okay everyone, sack time!

 

What do the elves call it when Père Noël claps his hands at the end of a play?
Santapplause!

 

Why does Santa like to work in his garden?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!

 

What do you call a kitty on the beach on Christmas morning?
Sandy Claws!

 

Who delivers presents to dentist offices?
Santa Jaws!

 

Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?
Elephanta Claus!

 

What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning?
Crisp Kringle!

 

Why does St. Nicholas have a white beard?
So he can hide at the North Pole!

 

What do you call Santa when he has no money?
Saint "Nickel"-less!

 

What smells most in a chimney?
Santa's nose!

 

What does Kris Kringle like to get when he goes to the donut shop?
A jolly roll!

 

What do you call someone who doesn't believe in Father Christmas?
A rebel without a Claus!

 

What is invisible but smells like milk and cookies?
Kris Kringle burps!

 

What did Santa get when he crossed a woodpecker with kleenex?
Rapping paper!

 

What does Santa like to have for breakfast?
Mistle-"toast"!

 

Why does Santa take presents to children around the world?
Because the presents won't take themselves!

 

What does Santa use when he goes fishing?
His north pole!

 

How do we know Santa is such a good race car driver?
Because he's always in the pole position!

 

What is twenty feet tall, has sharp teeth and goes Ho Ho Ho?
Tyranno-santa Rex!

 

What's red & white and red & white and red & white?
Santa rolling down a hill!

 

What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?
Looks like "rain", "Dear"!

 

What's red and green and flies?
An airsick Santa Claus!

 

How does Père Noël take pictures?
With his North "Pole"-aroid!

 

Why does Santa's sleigh get such good mileage?
Because it has long-distance runners on each side!

 

What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh! Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
Santa caught in a revolving door!

 

What kind of motorcycle does Santy ride?
A "Holly" Davidson!

 

Where does Father Christmas go to vote?
The North Poll!

 

What's red and white and falls down the chimney?
Santa Klutz!

 

What do you call Saint Nick after he has come down the chimney?
Cinder Claus!

 

What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish!

 

Why does Santa owe everything to the elves?
Because he is an elf-made man!

 

What goes oh, oh, oh?
Santa Claus walking backwards!

 

How many chimneys does Saint Nick go down?
Stacks!

 

What does Santa get if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobic!

 

What would you call Father Christmas if he became a detective?
Santa Clues!

 

Who delivers Christmas presents to pets?
Why, Santa Paws of course!

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?

Because the angel had said,"No L!"

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic.

What do you do if Santa gets stuck in your chimney?

Pour Santa flush on him. 

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Snowflakes.